Jay, let me tell you that, 1. I didn't read your latest 'stack because I was busy checking accounts of the Avalanche's opening-night win in LA, but 2. I'm usually the first to open your columns, and the first to comment on how great they are, a standard I have sadly fallen short of, today; 3. I feel like a used up Greek sandal, only worthy to be trodden upon repeatedly; and finally, 4., in the future I will read all of your posts immediately, and implement the instructions doggedly. FWIW, I prefer Oregon volcanoes.
I totally agree with the sentiment. In fact while I was reading your column, on a WhatsApp chat I learned that a family member's father had just passed and immediately two other family members responded with "Im sorry for your loss" with a crying emoticon. No offense to them, but I dont like to say Im sorry because to me, it feels inauthentic and even cheap. Why? Because while it is well intentioned, it requires no thought and offers no support. It is practically a knee jerk response. So I try to share something that at least sounds a little wise, such as the importance of celebrating someone's life or possible lessons learned. I was especially perturbed when people wrote on social media that Jane Goodall's death was such a loss. My thought was, "Man, she was 91 years old, what else did she have to contribute to the world for you to be satisfied!" But I didnt write just to share my approach to death consolation, rather to ask you to expand a little more on why you chose the word "belittle" oneself. The explanation was not clear to me. I could guess, but I rather hear it from the master. Thank you, Jay! And Aristotle.
And I should also add that I say inauthentic, because frankly we often dont feel sorrow when someone else passes, so the phrase Im sorry is performative. But I understand we still live in a society that fears death and regards it as something bad or almost unnatural and thus should be mourned even when the death is not close to one. Other societies had very different approaches.
The greater sin to me is the laziness of that kind of response to a death. I would like to think that when I die some of my more intelligent friends will say something amazingly witty. Instead of thought and prayers, offer a decent joke in my honor, if you can call it that.
Jay, let me tell you that, 1. I didn't read your latest 'stack because I was busy checking accounts of the Avalanche's opening-night win in LA, but 2. I'm usually the first to open your columns, and the first to comment on how great they are, a standard I have sadly fallen short of, today; 3. I feel like a used up Greek sandal, only worthy to be trodden upon repeatedly; and finally, 4., in the future I will read all of your posts immediately, and implement the instructions doggedly. FWIW, I prefer Oregon volcanoes.
You are the apologetic GOAT my friend.
I totally agree with the sentiment. In fact while I was reading your column, on a WhatsApp chat I learned that a family member's father had just passed and immediately two other family members responded with "Im sorry for your loss" with a crying emoticon. No offense to them, but I dont like to say Im sorry because to me, it feels inauthentic and even cheap. Why? Because while it is well intentioned, it requires no thought and offers no support. It is practically a knee jerk response. So I try to share something that at least sounds a little wise, such as the importance of celebrating someone's life or possible lessons learned. I was especially perturbed when people wrote on social media that Jane Goodall's death was such a loss. My thought was, "Man, she was 91 years old, what else did she have to contribute to the world for you to be satisfied!" But I didnt write just to share my approach to death consolation, rather to ask you to expand a little more on why you chose the word "belittle" oneself. The explanation was not clear to me. I could guess, but I rather hear it from the master. Thank you, Jay! And Aristotle.
And I should also add that I say inauthentic, because frankly we often dont feel sorrow when someone else passes, so the phrase Im sorry is performative. But I understand we still live in a society that fears death and regards it as something bad or almost unnatural and thus should be mourned even when the death is not close to one. Other societies had very different approaches.
The greater sin to me is the laziness of that kind of response to a death. I would like to think that when I die some of my more intelligent friends will say something amazingly witty. Instead of thought and prayers, offer a decent joke in my honor, if you can call it that.
Ill start working on it now.